Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
