why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think people are normalizing furries
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
