he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize