Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
