I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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