no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
