So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
