yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
