Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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