u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
