so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is Oprah even human
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize