question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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