i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
