he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
