Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
