Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
