sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
