The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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