What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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