O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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