Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
