Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
