How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
