This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
