never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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