You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
