Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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