Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Congratulations! We have a period
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
