Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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