No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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