Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
