Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
