im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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