just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
