my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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