i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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