Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
