"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
