You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
