Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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