I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
