Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
