Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you made out with another girl for some wings
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
