More tranny stories later!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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