I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
