I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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