Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
