we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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