Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
