worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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