it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
