it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
