I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
