I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
