you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
