that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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