you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
