He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
