So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Randomize
