I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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