Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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