I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He shit in the fireplace
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
